First Year Of Marriage in an LDR

First Year Of Marriage in an LDR looks a lot like this. The life of an LDR is such we are always counting down, always saving for the next trip and living with the pain of missing each other.

We both hear people say “I couldn’t do an LDR” which is an ignorant statement. Those people fail to realize that we didn’t choose to be in an LDR we just fell in with someone who lives a long way away and we choose that inconvenience over being with the wrong person.

I haven’t physically been with my wife for 110 days and in just 48 days we will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary.

We have spent a grand total of 5.47% of the year together and this tiny slither of life together. No relationship would survive on just 5% contact, you see our marriage exist on the phone for most of the other 95%.

Consistent Communication and Authenticity

Consistent Communication and Authenticity is the glue that holds it all together, for example, our phone calls on a typical weekday looks like this.

0600- 0615 after our shower ( Jon & Rachel)
0700- 0745 drive to daycare ( Jon & Rachel & Lucy)
0745- 0800 drive to work (Jon & Rachel)
1630- 1645 drive to daycare (Jon & Rachel)
1645- 1730 drive home
1930- 2030 evening (Jon & Rachel & Ella)
2130- 0500 Sleep on the phone with together

First Year Of Marriage in an LDR – What Do We Speak About.

We talk about;

  • Life, how we slept, the traffic,
  • teaching Lucy how to talk,
  • work, the traffic,
  • shopping, what we’re going to eat,
  • our business, singing with Lucy,
  • extended family stuff, money stuff,
  • Lucy’s Life events, Ella will chat about her day or read or tell stories,
  • Then Mr and Mrs Walters go to bed

So really the only difference is not physically being there in person.

Throughout our daily calls we cover all the bases;

  • To feel loved, To feel missed,
  • To feel wanted, and Respected,
  • Share our thoughts and ideas,
  • Make each other laugh a lot,
  • We are there to vent to each other and we console each other when necessary.

Over the years we have become masters at communicating and sharing our authentic thoughts and feelings, we both feel apart of something greater than the sum of parts. Sometimes we have a date night and play games check our date night blog

Some say “We only get along because we don’t live together”

However, they are wrong we get along because we are perfect for each other.

Things will be different when we live together – it will be better.

We have 6 months between physical trips but we don’t pick up and put down our marriage every 6months. We just do in person everything we have been doing on the phone.

Long Distance Relationships are hard expensive and more effort and sacrifice but worth every mile.

First Year Of Marriage in an LDR

12 Replies to “First Year Of Marriage in an LDR”

    1. Although I am not in an LDR, I can relate. My husband is in prison. We rely on phone calls everyday, and 2 hour visits once a week. Someone is always listening, reading, and supervising our relationship. We have built a strong foundation on trust, love and one thing that has always been missing, friendship. I feel closer to him now than I ever have. I’ve realized how much of our marriage I’ve taken advantage of. Good luck to you and your cute little family! I can see the love the two of you have for each other.

  1. Love this blog!!

    To be totally transparent, I felt closer to my husband when there was all the distance between us. That may sound strange, but totally true. We HAD to make more of an effort to “be present” with each other then. We spent hours every day together on the phone or Skype, talking, learning about each other, laughing, and, believe it or not, fighting… But, the amazing part was we were ever attentive to the other, excited about another minute of time together.

    When you are physically together, it’s easier to become complacent and take it all for granted. That may sound horrible, but I think it’s because the effort and purposefulness involved in the LDR helps actually strengthening your bond and commitment.

    Anyway, I love my husband dearly and I’m so glad we are finally together, but, believe it or not, sometimes I long for those hours of uninterrupted attention and less playstation time. 🤪

  2. I was always one who said I’d never be in a LDR. Then I found the man who I would marry. For the first 2 years we were long distance, was it hard? Yes! But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I think it help build who we are today. And who are we? Well after closing that distance, and after my daughter graduated high school, I moved. We have now been living together for 3 years, married for one (well will be in a few weeks 4/28/18). I love your story Jon & Rachel, so glad you two have found each other and the happiness. Hope you will be able to close that distance soon!

  3. God bless you as a family and as individuals striving to make it all work out.
    The rerun of 90 day fiance was just on the telly the other night and it was joyful to see your wedding again.
    Wishing you love, happiness and being together again soon! And a happy anniversary soon! – a Floridian friend, Lynne in SW Florida

  4. What a beautiful thing to have found the one your heart desires! My husband travels, sometimes for months at a time, not the same thing as your situation but I often find myself doing much of the the same thing you guys do. Does our marriage stop when he leaves? No!!! Depending on the time difference of whatever country he is in, and the quality of internet, we video chat, we talk on the phone! You just keep going and try to keep things as normal as possible. When he’s home, it’s a transition again, but I am happiest when we are together! It takes WORK! Good for you guys for going the distance! ❤️

  5. Me & my husband were in a LDR for the first year and we made it happen- that was 12 years ago! I’m praying for y’all !

  6. Being in an LDR for 4 years then getting married, now we are 1 year 4 months together and our 1st year wedding Anniversary was March 9th 2019. That time physically apart was SO hard but I no we appreciate things that most couples take for granted. Like holding hands watching tv together. Or snuggling in bed. These things that we didnt have for four years.. I think it’s funny because when we finally were physically together sleeping in the same bed I was missing being able to turn down the volume when he starts snoring LOL. When we slept every night on Skype together I always was last to fall asleep like it is now too, but adjusting his snoring volume isnt an option anymore. So that took time to adjust oh yea and he steals the blankees didnt see that coming either 🙂 But you wrote this so perfectly. People dont realize when your in a committed LDR you spend so much time together . It’s not just the visits its every day.
    I am so excited for you two. Cant wait to see the announcement when Jon finally arrives.
    God bless you both!
    Kim and Mathew Krishan

  7. I feel that it is your marriage and you both are the only ones that have to please each other so if you feel content right now with the way things are until he is able to join you here in the USA then who is anyone else to judge you and your marriage or relationship. It’s really no different than someone who is in the military that is gone for a long time the difference is that you both can talk everyday. I love you both you are awsome!

  8. I think its beautiful I’m in a long distance relationship myself not married yet but it is very hard at times but if you truly love that person you will wait no matter what it takes.

  9. I love your love and commitment to each other! I was wondering how you handle conflict when it arises? Are you on your best behavior all the time because you have limited time together? I know when my hubby and I lived apart, that was the worst part to deal with.

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